Not the same nor yet begun, except the sun
constant moves and draws us on
One form of water marks our steps, or more
day's now over or newly come
Bare footprints from pool or wells trod in the snow
slumber, rising, sunset, dawn
Carol of cold waves, then bells, then birds, and now
kindled woods and on.
My brain is pretty firmly wedged into the draft I'm working on, to avoid thinking about a new year cracked and congealing on the counter. I tend to get lost in the thematic aspects of writing (as opposed to finishing drafts--that's not really a skill I possess) and part of the theme of the current draft (and the previous one) is taking a good look and then getting on with life. And, for whatever reason, that's made me question the idea that I need to have a published or a finished or a in-any-way-public writing outlet. My draft is eating my life. *sigh*
-- Chrissa
Your poem has incredible movement, love the back and forth, the ebb and tide feeling ... and especially the kindled woods.
ReplyDeleteWater like words flow in liquid form but, sometimes we chisel ice or crunch in snow to carve our thoughts in time.
ReplyDelete"Carol of cold waves, then bells, then birds, and now
ReplyDeletekindled woods and on." - Great flow in that.
I absolutely love everything about this gorgeous poem Chrissa! Don't let your draft steal your joy my friend, Your writing is amazing and when it is published it will bring the world joy.
ReplyDeleteA draft can trigger off something big. It has happened. One may be pleasantly surprised Chrissa!
ReplyDeleteHank
Lovely! The form of this reflects the seasons and the forms they take in our existence. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteInteresting and precise poem. Keep crafting your words.
ReplyDeleteI love the mix of sounds in the last stanza, especially how the cold waves are carols.
ReplyDeletethe poem is a delight to read. the words ebb and flow like waves. is there a name for this poem's structure/format? it really looks like the reflection in the photo.
ReplyDeleteSlumber, rising, sunset, dawn .... pretty much describes my life since the pandemic! A nice dance through the seasons in your poem.
ReplyDeleteOh, me too.
DeleteWe write because we need to. We start somewhere and, hopefully, finally, finish something we are satisfied with. Keep at it. Don't get discouraged.
ReplyDeleteI really love that final stanza, perfectly set up by the rest.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your draft today. Chisel away at your masterpiece
ReplyDeleteHappy you dropped by my blog today
Much💖love
I'm in draft purgatory too and the rollercoaster of emotions that goes with it.
ReplyDeleteI like the unsettled nature of this piece though. Something about it pulls me in and asks me to consider the things that are constantly in motion in my life and how sometimes it's wiser to flow with it rather than force a stopping or settled point.
The steps that move us. But those steps eventually fade and disappear and what remains, but the memory of the journey that got you there, even if it's just a stop along the way.
ReplyDeleteThe poem seems to be the answer to the feelings expressed in the closing note. I hope the last stanza come true for you (and for me).
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long while since I've read a poem about the three forms of water, I was waiting for gaseous. A lot of us have used snow (solid) in our writings. Nice prompt photo and write up, thank you for hosting.
ReplyDeleteDrafts? One my blog here I have 715 drafts and 1569 published. Early they weren't all of the poetic genre. Way more than half I will not publish all. Some are not intended to be published.
..
It has a nice flow to it and love "Carol of cold waves, then bells, then birds, and now kindled woods and on."
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful and fascinating Chrissa.
ReplyDeleteI think this is lovely, and accomplished.
ReplyDeleteMaybe time to set the draft aside awhile and come back to it later, refreshed?
"carol of cold waves... to kindled woods" I love the sound. Wholesome, dancing, well done.
ReplyDeleteNicely done.
ReplyDeleteI love the wonderful progression of you words leading to a perfect close. Love!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
There is so much to love about this poem. Your exquisite ending sums it up. "One form of water marks our steps" so adore that line.
ReplyDelete"carol of cold waves" - how lovely! Just write to write–you are so talented.
ReplyDelete