Sunday, November 3, 2019

Nothing Through Me

 Photography by Oladios
"I can't see the end of me."
Photo source

Fear is a sight, the sight--the one that scans horizons
Where the monsters lurk in the brightest depths of day's end
Where I will sail, where I am going, where I fade
On that line where the day cascades so deep you see the rays
Flatten and melt, render the water unswimmable,
Thin.

I've been sitting on this edge until I can't feel myself!

Fear is a sight, the one you catch of yourself, gone
Down, into the pool of ended days from a cotton bedspread
Legs hanging over the sides as if into that water
Feeling the cataract of all that light, splaying out heavy,
Shaving me away, rays gaping wide, cloaking,
Bent.

Sharing today with The Sunday Muse. Also, using this space to vent--NaNo didn't start all that well for me. My characters and I don't get along and they're not all that confident that I am capable of handling their story. And unlike most of my other drafts, this feels uncomfortably close to Not My Story To Tell. Which is totally weird, because I would have told you before I started that it wasn't based on anything in particular save for some oddball YouTube obsessions of mine. Seriously, someone needs to convince me that dead malls aren't something you need hours of content about. Or, someone in the Houston area needs to point me in the direction of a group of the nearest local enthusiasts. Anyway, I'm also trying to read The Library of the Unwritten to guilt myself into stop creating yet more unfinished manuscripts. And if writing and reading aren't provoking, there's always the need to  keep Arthur from chewing all Merlin's tail ruff off.  Not that he's the type of dog to do that...see totally innocent face, at right. That dog takes a better author photo than I ever will. :)  

On the very, very plus side, cool weather has finally arrived in our part of Texas! Open windows! Candles! 

As you can tell, I'm a little scattered this morning. Hope this is a beginning to a lovely week of writing for you! 

-- Chrissa

6 comments:

  1. Fear is a mighty beast for sure. Sitting on the edge of not knowing is a scary thought.

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  2. You describe the dimensions of fear beautifully. Indeed, it has no edges. Good luck with Nano - you can do this!💪🏽

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  3. "I've been sitting on this edge until I can't feel myself!"

    Wow! woman, what a line. It makes me want to know all sorts of things about the speaker.

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  4. You have described fear as only a true port could. This is absolutely stunning Chrissa and a new favorite for me!! As far as NaNo goes this is my advice: you are an amazing writer and whatever you write that comes from your heart will be wonderful! Keep writing and don't get discouraged my friend. 🌻

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  5. You have described fear masterfully...that empty disappearing..

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  6. I've been sitting on this edge until I can't feel myself!

    I love that line. Wonderful poem, Chrissa!

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